Though the names of the students are fictitious,
the stories shared
on this page are real and
true. What you will witness from these stories is that SAVE deeply
reaches and impacts the development values in levels of improvement.
SAVE empowers the lives of real children...in real schools...in a real
community...in a real world.
(*Disclaimer: For the protection of the actual children in the stories,
pictures are NOT of those written about below)
Dani
When I met Dani in March 2007 she was a 3rd
grader. She was not very outgoing. She mostly spoke when spoken to.
As she walked the halls, her head often hung low. Rarely, did she
make eye contact with those that she passed in the halls. Dani was
always neat and clean but very uncomfortable with her appearance.
Dani was a 3rd grader wearing junior and women sizes.
During groups she would only participate in certain activities, if
called upon.
When the new 2007-2008 school year began I
decided to start with the basics with the SAVESNet members at my
school: What is honesty? What is truth? What is a Choice? What are
Decisions? What does it mean to be Ready, Respectful, and
Responsible? These subjects were discussed every group until
Christmas break. During the role play sessions, Dani would often
raise her hand to be one of the actresses. Dani finally realized
that the SAVESNet room was a safe place for her to express herself,
and she began to do so often.
Before the Thanksgiving break, Dani’s teacher
came to me, she said Dani’s approach in the classroom was often
meddlesome, blunt and sometimes abrasive. I gave Dani an ongoing
assignment, she was to spend more time focused on improving herself
and being a positive example. Before telling someone else what they
did wrong, she must think about how she can be a better example for
them in that area.
It is easy to identify the shortcomings of
others. SAVESNet teaches all the students that “positive people
don’t put others down.” Putting other down is an emotional form of
violence. It is very hard to genuinely like other people when you
do not like yourself. During a reflection exercise, Dani said “I’ve
learned to pay attention. I also learned to be honest.” By the end
of the school year, Dani learned and taught dance steps, lead
morning exercises, walk the halls with confidence, and gave
compliments as well as constructive criticism to her peers.
While self-esteem affects every area of a person’s life, Dani
experienced all the perks. Her old ways of behaving, were alienating
others from her. Lack of social skills and alienation from peers
are risk factors for more serious violent behavior later in life.
The way that Dani interacted with her peers and teachers changed.
She was less critical of her peers and more compassionate. She was
less defensive with adults. Dani also improved academically.
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Julia
Julia is a 17 year
old 11th grader. When she joined SAVESNet she was
pleasant but very forgetful. I had to repeat things for her and
constantly remind her about her SAVESNet responsibilities. One day
I asked her why she had such a hard time remembering things. She
said she was stressed out because of all the things she had to do.
She worked after school, helped pay bills at home, helped take care
of younger siblings and was in a serious relationship with her
boyfriend. She was the oldest and most responsible child at home.
She felt like she was the mom and her mother was the daughter.
We talked a lot as
the weeks went on. I watched her deal with the situation and make
adjustments that would benefit her. She continued to come to the
SAVESNet meetings where we discussed resiliency, the ability to
bounce back from difficulty or tragic situations. She applied the
principles to her own life. I helped her to see how important it was
to make good choices. She realized that she had to focus on her
education and do what was necessary to get into college.
A young person
with such responsibility can easily lose focus on the importance of
education and goals to make it easier to take care of immediate
needs. A person without a high school diploma faces incredible
challenges and risks as an adult. I had her write a list of all the
things she wanted to do with her life, and a list of what she was
doing that would stop those things from coming to pass in her life.
One of the most important changes she made was to stop giving in to
pressure to have sex. She also learned to communicate better with
her mother about the stress in her life. SAVESNet gave Julia the
support she needed to deal with her many responsibilities she faced
and stay focused on her meeting her own needs and future goals.
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Leonard
 When I met Leonard
in March 2007, he was a 4th grader. Unlike many of the other
SAVESNet students, Leonard was confident in his ability to do things
well. Leonard was small in stature but what he lacked in size he
made up for in charisma. Leonard however, was easily agitated. When
things did not happen as he anticipated them, he would scream, yell,
throw things, storm out of the class and sometimes use foul
language. Without some serious change in his behavior Leonard may
have been on his way to an education and school experience fraught
with difficulty and possible failure. By the end of the school year
Leonard had been asked to leave SAVESNet group at least 5 times due
to his poor decision making.
When the new
2007-2008 school year began, Leonard was the first student to
inquire about getting his participation packet. I talked to Leonard
and his parent before the first SAVESNet group to discuss
expectations. All parties agreed that this school year, Leonard’s
SAVESNet participation would look very different from the previous
year. I also asked for his teacher’s help. There were a few times
when the classroom teacher had to use Leonard’s involvement with
SAVESNet as a deterrent so that he would not continue with his
negative course of action.
With the assistance
of the school counselor we determined that a lot of Leonard’s
negative behavior was due to his inability to appropriately express
himself. With that information, I made some changes to the SAVESNet
lessons. Leonard was expected to write about how he felt, act out
inappropriate and appropriate responses to typical situations in an
elementary school environment.
Leonard improved
so much that he was asked to represent SAVESNet and his school on a
few occasions. Leonard still has challenges but fewer of them. When
those challenges arise, he knows that a willingness to accept
responsibility and a positive attitude will make the situation
better. When asked to reflect on his 2007-2008 SAVESNet experience,
Leonard said “I’ve learned …to make better choices. I learned that
if you do good things, good things happen to you. I also learned to
be a leader, not a follower.” Leonard’s mother commented, “Leonard
has always been very outgoing. This year we have seen him mature a
lot. He is able to control himself. He has quoted things from the
SAVESNet groups, “I control me. I control how I respond. I choose
not to……” I can really see his growth.”
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AJ
 When I first met 16
year old AJ he was respectful to me and very polite, but he was
disinterested in school. He was disruptive in class and was
disciplined two times because of his behavior. He was a member of
SAVESNet the previous school year and I asked him to get back
involved and to come to our weekly meetings. Sometimes he would
come but he was not consistent, yet he faithfully wore his SAVESNet
T-Shirt to school every week. I would check up on him each week and
remind him about the meetings. He was suspended for a week and when
he returned I sat and talked with him one on one in my office.
I let him know that
his behavior was not reflecting what SAVESNet stands for. I told him
that I knew he had what it takes to make the needed changes in his
attitude and behavior. He agreed. He promised me that he was done
getting in trouble. He started attending the weekly SAVESNet
meetings regularly without me reminding him.
He participated in
our discussions and showed improvement each week in his attitude and
school attendance. He enjoyed coming to the SAVESNet meetings
because he was around people who really cared about him. He was
encouraged and motivated by his peers to do the right thing. He
stopped arguing with his teachers and he stopped disrupting class
with loud outburst.
He took the advice
that was given by his teachers, advisors, SAVESNet and his parent.
He is a changed young man. AJ told me that he knew he had potential
to do well in school. He thanked me for not giving up on him.
Youth who are
troubled are sometimes labeled as “trouble makers.” When this
happens youth can easily give up on themselves and their own goals.
Young males are especially at risk for dropping out of school and
future criminal behavior. AJ’s story is a common one, but with the
support of the SAVESNet program he is back on track to have a
successful and peaceful future.
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Maya
Maya is a 6th grade student who
recently joined the SAVESNet program at her school. Like other
girls her age, Maya is concerned with her appearance and
reputation. Her sense of self-worth revolves around her reputation
and she is consumed with the fear that people are spreading rumors
about her. She places her self-worth in friends’ opinions of her.
When she hears that someone has been saying negative things about
her, it is a tremendous blow to her self-esteem. The only way she
knows to deal with the rumors is to physically fight the person she
believed started them.
After her most recent fight in April of 2008,
Maya was placed on juvenile probation. She was told that if she was
involved in another fight, she would be sent to juvenile detention
for six months. Maya has hopes and dreams for her future and that
being in juvenile detention will not help. In order to avoid a
physical fight Maya began to routinely skip classes and lunch. Maya
did not have the skills to work though a conflict peacefully so she
simply attempted to avoid the person she was in conflict with. When
the tension with several girls at school grew, Maya left school in
favor of a new school.
In this situation, SAVESNet can work to
provide much needed support for Maya. Mentoring gives her a safe
place to discuss her conflicts and a positive reflection of herself
and her strengths. In one-on-one sessions, the coordinator helped
Maya understand situations that triggered her anger and methods she
could use to calm herself before her anger became explosive. During
one meeting, Maya began to speak badly of another SAVESNet member.
I stopped her and asked her if she saw a problem with what she was
saying. Maya thought for a minute and responded, “I was creating a
fight.”
SAVESNet teaches life skills that are
vital to becoming successful adults. SAVESNet teaches that violence
is just one of many alternatives when in a conflict. Maya began to
see that her actions and her words contributed to her relationships
with other students at school. Through mentoring and resiliency
training, SAVESNet can help students like Maya build strong
relationships and work through conflict without fighting or fleeing.
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Charlene
 Charlene, a 6th grader who recently joined the SAVESNet
program, is a self-declared gang member. With pride, she discusses her
gang affiliation, colors and activities. Although she claims to have
not taken part in vandalism or theft, she does admit to having been
present when those activities took place. The lure of membership is
stronger than her fear of negative repercussions, even though she has
both family and friends that have been injured or jailed as a result of
their gang activities.
The number one risk factor for youth that commit violent acts is if
their peers or those closest to them commit violent acts. SAVESNet is
in a powerful position to minimize the influence of gangs on youth.
SAVESNet offers members a sense of belonging and acceptance in a
positive pro-social environment. Through mentoring, community service,
resiliency training and positive peer group development SAVESNet gives
youth a positive place to belong and helps students like Charlene turn
away from gangs.
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Juan
Juan is one of five children who is primarily raised his Mom with the
love and support of family, friends and her church. In 3rd
grade, Juan was a SAVESNet members but had reoccurring discipline
problems.
In
his 4th grade year, this began to change. Juan’s mom began
to speak of how SAVESNet had helped her child learn better strategies to
use when dealing with difficult peers and anger. She also commented on
how Juan used to get into trouble all the time until SAVESNet started to
work with him. During his 4th grade year, and 2nd
year in SAVESNet, Juan only received one discipline referral, he
maintained his grades and only missed one day of school
In
his 4th grade year I noticed that Juan was more eager to join
into SAVESNet activities, and he often wanted to spend time with
coordinator and/or other group members during recess. He started to ask
me for guidance when issues with peers came into play and mom often
encouraged this. He appeared more invested the message of PEACE that
SAVESNet was advocating for throughout the school. Juan was able to
take on some leadership roles due to his hard work.
Even families that are supportive and strong sometimes need the extra
support from a program. Children connect with SAVESNet because it is a
safe place to be themselves and to learn better skills. With the
consistent support of SAVESNet, children can make drastic changes and
improvements in behavior.
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Mark
 Mark, a high school student, was referred to the SAVESNet program by his
teacher. The teacher felt that Mark was a good kid that he was falling
in with the wrong crowd. Mark was disrupting class, clowning around with
his friends and doing just enough school work to pass. There were a few
instances when Mark had to be removed from school due to discipline
referrals to the office. Mark was not involved in any extra-curricular
activities and not really engaged in the school community.
I
began working with Mark and he started coming to weekly SAVESNet
meetings. Mark was very slow to interact with members but began to
socialize with his peers in the second half of the school year. Mark
has become an active SAVESNet member and also now participates in
baseball and football. Mark continues to have some issues with
classroom behavior but has shown improvement. No longer does he hang out
with the friends that he was getting into trouble with. He socializes
with students that are active and positive members of the school
community. He also made honor role this past school year.
Teens can be lured to be average or disruptive for many reasons. The
friends a teen hangs around, are his or her most influential force.
Introducing kids to a new, more positive peer group, can make all the
difference. Positive peers can set a teen on a completely new course in
life.
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Liza
 During Liza’s freshmen year she tried-out for the SAVESNet Step Team and
joined SAVESNet. Her grades were average getting just over a 2.0 most
nine weeks. She struggled socially often displaying a negative and
confrontational attitude towards her peers over the smallest of issues.
Although she made the step team her poor work ethic and lack of
motivation coupled with poor attendance made meeting the standards of
the team very difficult for her. Often she would become frustrated by
the advisor constantly asking her to work harder and push herself. Liza
remained a committed SAVESNet member but quit the step team. Midway
through the school year you could see glimpses of her attitude changing
but still she struggled. She asked to re-join the step team but was
told by the advisor that she had quit and could tryout again in the
spring for next year’s team.
Liza tried out in the spring making the team with a much improved
attitude and work ethic, surpassing her first tryout score by 11 points.
During step camp the summer before the start of her sophomore year, you
could see the growth. She was working more cooperatively with her
teammates, taking initiative to learn all the steps. The amount of
effort she put into practice had greatly improved. She chose to talk
out issues with peers instead of calling names, getting an attitude or
just walking out the room. Upon school starting, Liza had come full
circle. She made honor roll the whole school year and received the
Butterfly Award as the SAVESNet member that had showed the most personal
growth.
Often, teens are not given much chance to change. Many programs target
younger students because organizations think teens are beyond help. The
SAVESNet program, again and again, has helped students like Liza take a
new path. Teens do, sometimes take more time to come around, this is
why the SAVESNet Coordinator is in schools daily and consistently, year
after year.
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Kara
Two parents fighting at Kara’s elementary school resulted in one parent
fatally injured on school grounds and many students frightened. Although
just a fourth grade student, Kara had witnessed the effect of violence.
According to her advisor, Kara jumped at the opportunity to become
involved in a group participating in the SAVE Awards Youth
Peacemakers Training Program. Kara was not as interested in being on
stage as she was with finding out how she could prevent violence at
home. Her parent’s escalating arguments created a fear inside left her
feeling powerless.
Kara attended a SAVE Awards Youth Peacemakers
Training Day and learned strategies in violence prevention and conflict
resolution that would change her way of thinking and challenge her to
“make bad things into good things”. Kara learned new listening and
coping skills that empowered her for life.
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Sydney
 Involved in a daily battle between the privileged and the
underprivileged, Sydney found herself in violent communication matches
with other blind students at her school. Sydney, an 8th
grader with limited vision, had become a part of a group that hurled verbal attacks toward
anyone they thought did not meet their sight standards.
Throughout the SAVE Awards Youth Peacemakers Training Program
process, Sydney found herself becoming more and more distant from the
group. She began grasping the idea that even she could become a bully
and that being popular wasn’t everything. Sydney realized that her
involvement and activity was violent, even though no one had been
physically assaulted. Sydney felt free to discover and choose what she
wanted to stand for in life. Sydney chose to become violence-free and
to learn how to prevent violence everywhere…even in the blind community.
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Tony
Getting in trouble at school was nothing new to Tony, a 7th
grader. He was disciplined in school for mouthing off often. His teacher
helped Tony see that his mouth could do more than get him into trouble.
With the school principal’s blessing, Tony and a few other choice
students were given the option to work together on a SAVE Awards
Youth Peacemakers Training Program presentation.
After receiving
violence prevention training, Tony and his fellow group members wrote
their own music using terms and phrases from the training. Tony also
stopped getting disciplined so often and began using his skills to break
up fights between his friends. Tony now feels he has a responsibility to
be a role model for younger kids and hopes they make a choice for peace
like he did.
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